DAY 14 - WORSHIP IS A LIFESTYLE

DAY 14 OF 100 - Went to church to be ministered to.  What an awesome time in the Lord.  God is ALWAYS faithful.  Reminded tonight that worship really is a lifestyle and we must always press into the presence.  Wonderful ministry by Joseph and Demetria Stallings.  Joseph spoke on worship.  He reminded us that worship should come first before we do anything.  We looked at King Jehoshaphat and his battle was won without lifting a sword against his enemy.  He sent the worshipers first. What if your worship caused your bills to pay themselves?  Worship is a tool, a weapon and Believers do not understand how to use this deadly weapon.  It is more powerful than the atomic bomb or any weapon of mass destruction.  Do you want to see strongholds and chains broken in your life?  Do you want to be set free in order to be used by God?  When you have poured your all on the altar, God takes the fragrance and turns your situation around.  I am still really learning this principle.  I still tend to worry and fret although I know the battle is the Lord's.  Kharous moment, and at midnight...

Determined Focus

DAY 13 - NOT FEELING TOO HOT

Wow, what a bad day.  I have felt awful all day.  Thank you Lord for a new day is coming!

DAY 12 - I HAVE BEEN THINKING AGAIN

Day 12 of 100 - I have been thinking again and wondering about stuff.  What amazes me is the thought that I am mature in God and in life.  I know that I am physically older, but in my mind's eye I never get older.  I suppose then it should come as no surprise how I still struggle with the small things in God.  Some days I do well.  Other days I worry about everything from bills to creditors to wasting time because I am physically getting older.  As Paul said, "the good I would do, evil is always present."  I keep saying grow me up Lord, but I am still so carnal.  I am still such a baby sometimes.  My earnest desire is NOT to complete 100 days  just be able to say I did a 100 day consecration.  My desire is to see and experience significant change in me.  I do not always pick up my cross and don't even want to hear the word cross.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and beat down.  God is teaching me what it really means when the word says the joy of the Lord is my strength.  Joy is not really an emotion, but a consistent, perpetual state of being.  I rejoice in the Lord even when my circumstances look bleak.  I am filled with the knowledge of Him and His love for me even when I do not sense His or anyone else's love.  I am confident and assured that His word is true and it will not come back to me empty, but God Himself watches where His word goes and makes sure it is fulfilled in my life.  Just thinking how glad I am that He's got this.  I'm just saying.

DAY 11 - BROKEN IN THE RIGHT PLACES

Day 11 of 100.  Man, 100 days seem so far away, but we are chipping into it.  Pastor spoke tonight regarding an open heaven.  Not to be confused with God's gimme shop being open and we just place our requests, but it is a place where heaven meets earth and is the portal to God.  As I pondered this, I suddenly had the thought that although Bethel is the house of God and we are the temple of the spirit of God,  it is also about being broken enough that His spirit, which resides in us, will be able to pour out of us where ever we may be.  We are broken because of life and our experiences such as divorce, death of a loved one, illnesses, addictions, stress, abortion and etc.  But God wants to break us.  When we are broken by Him, His spirit comes forth from us and we become Bethel.  What would it be like if you walked in a room and changed the atmosphere because you are Bethel?  What would work be like?  Would co-workers, your manager come to you and ask what must I do to be saved? Would the atmosphere in your home change?  If someone rode in your car, would they enter worship because of the presence of the Lord?  How about being in the grocery store and having a complete stranger be drawn to you?  Would you like to go to a restaurant and pray with the server?  If we allow God to break us and not be broken by life, we become ministers and we bring random people into the presence of God.  Deliverance in the parking lot and salvation in the meat section is possible.  Healing at Applebees and casting out devils in the laundromat.  It starts at the altar of God.  Lay all your disappointments, frustrations, anger, unbelief, doubts, fears, worry and anything else that prevents you from walking in the fullness of God at His feet and allow Him to burn it up.  Can and will you ask Him to place a live coal on your lips?  Cry out to Him as the soldier did and ask Him to help your unbelief.  Father break me.  I acknowledge I am not there yet.  I tell you I trust you, but I take back the problem and sometimes I worry.  But I want to see deliverance in my generation.  I want to change the atmosphere wherever I go.  It is painful Lord, but break me.  Break off everything and conform me to your likeness.  I give you my worship.  The pretty and the ugly I give it to you.

DAY 10 - BACK TO THE ALTAR

Well, we are moving along.  This is day 10 of 100 days.  It is a drop in the bucket and a lot at the same time.  I want to sound spiritual but just sounding like me.  I am so glad that God will listen to you regardless of whether you have an accent, or stutter, or mispronounce words or misspell or sound intellectual by accident.  Father, I thank you that you receive me in your presence not according to my outward appearance but according to your loving mercy and if I come humbly before you.  The time has come and gone for a religious spirit.  God is connecting us by heart and spirit.  John 4:23-24 tells us "But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.  God [is] Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth."   What is truth?  Truth is the wisdom of God revealed, it is the heart of the Father revealed in us and working through us for His glory.  This generation is fed up with fake, fronting, plastic Christians.  This generation seeks the truth.  That is why we are in love with reality shows and searching the Internet for answers.  We want the real thing, but it isn't Coca Cola.  The real McCoy is Jesus and Him crucified!  Oh, if men would praise the Lord.  I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I cannot stand business as usual any longer!  I want the presence of God to be so thick and so consuming that when I walk in a room, or someone gets into my car or if I am walking in the grocery store, I automatically change the atmosphere and cause people to become convicted and repent!  That can only happen if I allow God to complete the process in me.  Value does not come in a title or position.  In our minds we know this, but yet we continue to seek it in our hearts.  I place my heart on the altar because it is wicked and deceitful.  Take out the ropes and bind me Lord because I do not want to stay on the altar.  The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.  Take the scalpel and begin to cut away those hard stony places and leave me with a heart of flesh.  For your acceptable sacrifice is a broken and contrite heart.  If you truly want to serve the purpose of God in your generation, stay on the altar.

Determined Focus

DAY 9 - MY FLESH IS STILL ALIVE

Day 9 of 100.  9 means fruitfulness and 100 is the children of promise.  It didn't feel like that today.  A little depressed and not focused like I should be.  Old habits and old emotions rearing their ugly heads.  I had a hard day.  My flesh is alive and well unfortunately.  Yet, a day like today keeps me real and honest before God as well as myself.  It keeps me grounded and NOT super spiritual.  So, I thank you Lord for days like this.  You keep me from fronting and you let me know that their is still much to learn and much to heal.  Thank you that your mercies are new EVERY DAY; therefore, I will not stay in the valley, but press toward the mountain top.  I shake off each failure and embrace each new opportunity to try again.  I am so glad you are the God of a second chance.  I am desperate for destiny!

Determined Focus

DAY 8 - MY HEART IS CONSUMED WITH YOUR PRAISE

Day 8 of the 100 day consecration.  The day is coming to an end and just processing the events of the day.  So much is stirring in my heart and mind.  I can't quite explain how I feel.  I sense the presence of the Lord and I sense He is stirring me.  I just feel consumed with the need to give praise and worship Him.  But it is not just a song I have heard, but still it is.  It is not worship as usual but still it is.  I have heard so many times that we are listening for a new sound.  I have come to realize that it is not an actual sound but it is the true worship that comes out of a broken and contrite heart.  That sound is not a specific type of worship, but it is where the person is in God.  Sometimes it will be prophetic and will not sound like a specific song because it will be birthed directly from the heart to the throne room.  At times it will be a song that an artist/worshipper is bringing forth and it can express YOUR heart at that time and that season.  Still further it may be an old song that has a new revelation in you.  However it is birthed, it is a birthing of the spirit.  It will not be worship as usual, it will be spontaneous, it will be a consuming burning desire that cannot be quenched by anything but more of the same and then it will be like fire shut up in your bones.  It will be addictive because once you have experienced His presence in such a way you will want more.  You have to have more.  It will be worship crack straight from the altar.  You will want to spend time in worship.  Worship will not be usual because it can't be.  You can't stand it to be like it has been in the past.  Your heart's cry will be Him and more of Him.  Your love for Him will come forth.  Your thankfulness will come forth.  Your passion will come forth.  You will say with conviction, "you can't tell it.  Let me tell it, what the LORD has done for me!"  The time is now that the true worshippers will seek Him with their WHOLE heart!  Let the worshippers arise and take their rightful place!  Seek Him while He may be found.  Cry out to God.  Let the wind of the spirit blow on the embers of your heart and ignite a fire, a passion that will burn with such intensity that it will burn through that tough, hardened heart and past the white meat straight to the bone!  More and more of you God!

Determined Focus

DAY 7 - A DAY OF BEWILDEREDNESS

As I sit here and near the end of the day, I think upon the day's events.  Nothing has gone according to schedule.  Although the plans for the day were not monumental, still the plans were important.  Oddly enough most of my plans involved pressing in and spending a really big block of time with just me and the Lord.  Yet, the world floods in and the next thing you know, the day is gone.  Lesson for the day, it is truly a press and no matter where you are or what you may be doing, we must have our mind set on things above, heavenly things.  We must learn to worship while we work.  How does that look?  Praying in our mind or meditating on a scripture, humming a worship song to the Lord, singing out loud, praying under your breath, audibly praying in tongues while you work.  Worship is a mindset and our mind must remain on Him at all times.  The world will flood in, but allow the Spirit to soak up the water of the world and saturate you instead with His love and His anointing.


Determined Focus

DAY 6 - SPEAK LORD, YOUR SERVANT IS LISTENING

We usually start the year with great expectations and dreams.  We try to forget the hurt and disappointment from the previous year, but many times it is easier to say than do.  It especially becomes hard when it seems that last year will continue into the new year, BUT God.  The Lord is speaking that all though there are many believers still going through the motions of consecrating there is a doubt and unbelief because you say how long oh Lord.  How long will I feel the hurt and the pain.  How long in this season of lack.  But the Lord would say not much longer before you see my glory but do not look for it in the marketplace or on the hillside or in a friend's eye or hand.  Look for it in my presence says God.  Fall on your knees and worship me for in the worship there is deliverance.  In the worship there is praise and the garment of praise will lift you high upon the mountain of expectation.  Expect a harvest says God.

DAY 5 - SEND THE RAIN

Spending time listening to Bishop GE Patterson.  In my spirit there is an expectancy.  God has declared that THIS is a new moment, a new day, a new season and a new year.  He is establishing His order in my life.  He is sending the latter rain.  The rain that comes to produce the harvest.  For does not Isaiah 1:19 tell us that if you are willing and obedient, you shall eat of the good of the land.  This is a divine movement.  For He is growing a harvest of righteousness for those who have planted and tilled in faith.  For time has come and now is when that which the locust and the cankerworm has eaten is being restored.  To you God be all glory power and honor!

Determined Focus

MY WORRIES

As my heart pants for more of you, I hear you saying be not dismayed.  Be not fearful.  I know there is still fear for you have not yet learned to trust me totally.  But I will not leave you defenseless.  I will not abandon you my child.  I love you more than mere words can express.  For as you give me your heart, I will exchange it with mine.  You will love as I love.  You will see the lonely and the hurting and the healing process will begin because you will usher in my presence and it will soothe the pain and bring hope to the hopeless.  Never think that though you go through I have left you.  For I am refining you and you will speak to nations, you will declare my name and my love to those who are looking for truth.  For I am the truth and the life.  See my glory and watch me exalt you for this is a new day, this is a new season, this is a new moment in me says the Lord!

Determined Focus

DAY 4 OF 100 - MY HEART ACHES

Had corporate prayer tonight.  Today began the corporate church fast.  Pastor is speaking of passion and a desire for more of God.  All I can think of how much I cry now.  Never used to cry.  So much in my heart and not able to vocalize.  When did I begin to burn with such a desire for more of you God.  How is it I go back to saying here is my heart of worship.  I give it to you.  My worship will chase you.  I want to pour out my praise and love on you God.  But in the midst of all that.  I weep for this nation.  I weep for the Church, the bride of Christ.  I hear the Father's heart and remember the verse when Jesus sees Jerusalem and begins to weep.  Yhwh has such a love for His people and we have no idea of His character, love and dedication to bring you through.  He is more dedicated than ever to see us succeed in destiny.  But it is not to see who can be the wealthiest minister or the largest church.  Our destiny is to love, praise and glorify Him in all we say and do.  The apostles asked what was the greatest commandment.  It is and always will be to love the Lord God with ALL your heart, mind and body. The second, because it is His heart is to love your neighbor as yourself.  The heart of the Father is love because God is love.  I love you Lord.  Thank you for increasing my heart to love others.  Let us intercede for the brethren and for those who are lost.  Jesus came that we might have life and life to the full.  I worship you, I lay at your feet just like a dog so in awe of you.  My desire is to be in your presence and that others may know you and your love.

Determined Focus

SHANA WILSON - PRESS INTO YOUR PRESENCE

DAY 3 - MY THOUGHTS

The hardest thing for me is to stop thinking.  I am always thinking, always considering, always analyzing, always pondering.  That can be good, but it can also be a liability.  I want my thoughts to only be on Him and His goodness, but so much floods into my mind.  So many people having a hard time and so much I feel I need physically, spiritually and emotionally.  I think on these things and want to make my requests as if He doesn't already know.  My heart wants to be quiet and let Him do some talking for a change.  He is more than able to keep every person and every situation I place in His care.  He says so in His word and He doesn't lie.  I don't want to be spiritual, but I want to be real.  He already knows my heart anyway.  There's no need to front.  Oh God let your presence seize my mind and let me be focused on you.  The more I press into you, the more I lose myself and become transformed into you.

Determined Focus

HERE'S MY HEART OF WORSHIP

My heart is yours oh God
I want to go deeper, deeper in you...

DAY 2 - THE REAL PRESS BEGINS

Today is day 2 of my press.  Fasting from all food today.  So hard to not think about anything.  I realize I just want fellowship with my friend, lover, father.  I also realize just how immature I still am.  Reading "100 Days in the Secret Place" and just understand this is such journey.  It is so worthwhile, but still a journey of transformation.  I am only beginning to understand just a very little bit when Paul said in 1st Corinthians about seeing through a glass darkly.  I am still just a babe.  I give you Father my feeble heart of worship!  Let it be acceptable in your sight oh God, my strength and my redeemer!

http://youtu.be/YLt3-td_07E

1 Day Down - 99 More to Go

Well we come to the end of day 1.  Taught Sunday School and the message unfolds as I present it.  What do I want to accomplish during the 100 days?  I want just to have intense intimate fellowship with Yhwh, El Shaddai, Elohim, Abba Father.  I want to hear what is on His heart instead of me filling his ear with my wants, complaints and pleas.  God speak mysteries to me and cause me to go quickly to you when you beckon.  I want to be called Bethel - the house of the Lord - the place where You live...I love you God

Shana Wilson-Bethel

The Countdown Continues

Today is the last day before the confirmed consecration begins.  I pondered where I was this time last year.  I remember being so depressed and despondent.  Out of a career now for a year without a clear end to the famine.  I  was feeling drained spiritually, physically and emotionally.  So burned out and drained.  I attended, through the generosity of a friend, Throne Zone and felt renewed and refreshed.  Now we come to the present time and while in the natural there is no change, there is a change in me.  I am not where I was, but there is such a passion burning in my heart!  The pictures of intense fire can only touch what I am feeling.  More worship, more alone time with my lover! So, now I begin the honeymoon as well as the trial.  100 days in the secret place.  It will not end until April 20th, which is my birthday.  What a fitting end to such a time.  The fear and the excitement begins!

Let's Begin

I never thought I would start a blog.  I have no idea if anyone will ever see it, but I have come to realize this is the only way I will prayer journal.  I am getting ready to do something new.  I have never done this before and not sure how it will turn out.  I hear the voice of the Lord and He is stirring me to write and note for 100 days my journey with Him.  Beginning January 8, 2012 I will begin 100 days in the Secret Place!  There will be fasting of all kinds through the 100 days.  This will mean times of turning down the plate as well as the TV and anything else that becomes a distraction.  For 3 months and 10 days it will be all about Yashua as never before!  It is a new moment, a new day, a new year and a new season.  The winds of change a blowing.  A new passion and a burning desire has been birthed in me.  So, for the few who may follow, this is me, unedited and real.  Come see what God does.